


The Star of My Summer Nights

by JennaTalbot



Category: Raven Cycle - Maggie Stiefvater
Genre: Ace!Gansey, Asexual Character, Hurt/Comfort, I love my boys so much, M/M, ace!Ronan
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-06
Updated: 2018-06-06
Packaged: 2019-05-19 00:43:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,344
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14863406
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JennaTalbot/pseuds/JennaTalbot
Summary: Late summer nights in Henrietta are magical, and something about the night encourages words that can't be said during the day.





	The Star of My Summer Nights

“What about that one?” Ronan waved a hand lazily through the air.

Gansey laughed. “You’re going to have to be more specific, there are a lot of stars in that general direction,” he said as he copied Ronan’s gesture. 

The other boy huffed. “That kinda bright one, there.”

Gansey hummed. “Corona Borealis, the Northern Crown. It’s the crown that Princess Ariadne of Crete wore when she married Dionysus. It was supposed to have been beautiful, made by Hephaestus and encrusted with sparkling jewels from all over the world.”

Ronan nodded, hitting his head lightly against the Pig’s hood. He hadn’t been able to sleep, so he had asked Gansey to go somewhere—anywhere—with him. Gansey, of course, had obliged, and they found themselves wandering around the poorly lit streets of Henrietta. It was nearing three in the morning, and nothing in their sleepy little town was open. 

They drove around aimlessly for nearly an hour, before their randomized turns landed them back at Monmouth. But by that point, Gansey was as reluctant as Ronan to return inside and pretend to sleep, and had lingered by the car door after getting out.

Through some unspoken agreement, they had both slid onto the hood of Gansey’s Camaro, lying on their backs and staring at the starry sky. There was a slight chill in the air, but the heat from the Pig’s constantly overworked engine was enough to keep them comfortable. 

They were quiet for a few moments, until Ronan broke the silence. “What constellation is that?” He gestured at the cloudless sky, knowing full well that Gansey would be able to tell him. Henrietta was a small, rural town, and was far enough away from any major cities that there was always an abundance of stars on a clear night.

After that, it became a sort of game; Ronan picking more obscure stars each time in the hopes of finding one that Gansey didn’t know. He hadn’t been able to yet.

Ronan only knew the basic constellations that everyone could find, so he supposed there was a possibility that Gansey was just messing with him, but he didn’t find that to be very likely. Not because Gansey never lied—Ronan knew that Gansey lied about a lot of things. But never to him. Never when it mattered.

He glanced over at Gansey, who was still staring up at the sky. The moonlight washed over him and made him ethereal in a way Ronan couldn’t quantify. He couldn’t see Gansey’s eyes, hidden behind the glasses he hadn’t bothered to change out of, but Ronan could picture the look of concentration that would be on his face. The look he gave to things that he deemed worthy of his attention. The look that made Ronan’s world stop and pulse race simultaneously when it was directed his way.      

Gansey yawned, and Ronan felt his heart drop, not ready for the night to end. He reached out and grabbed Gansey’s hand, raising it towards the sky. “What about that one? It looks like it’s by itself.”

After a moment, Gansey wrapped his hand into Ronan’s and shuffled closer, reducing the slight strain on his shoulder. He shook his head lightly. “I don’t think that one is part of a constellation.”

“Can they do that?” 

“What, just exist? Of course they can, there’s only 88 recognized constellations, and probably billions of stars. There’s no way all of those stars are accounted for in the constellations we have, although we can only see a fraction of a fraction of them,” Gansey replied. But he was no longer looking at the stars. 

Maybe it was the lack of sleep, or the quiet of the sleepy town around them. Maybe it was the Henrietta magic in the air, stronger under the cloak of darkness. Or maybe Ronan was just prone to making bad decisions, no matter the hour of the day. 

Slowly, he leaned in towards Gansey, feeling the other boy’s heat in the cool night air. He could see his reflection in Gansey’s glasses, and saw his eyes bright behind them. Ronan hesitated for a beat and then tilted forwards again.

When his lips found Gansey’s, it was as if the world stopped. No, it was as if the world ceased to exist. There was only this moment, only the two of them, only the rapidly cooling press of the Pig underneath him contrasting the heat of Gansey’s arm under his hand, keeping him grounded. 

But a moment later, the illusion was shattered as Gansey pulled away quickly. He withdrew to the far side of the Camaro, leaving Ronan alone. The Pig’s engine had long since cooled off, but that wasn’t what sent chills through Ronan’s veins.

Ronan knew Gansey could see the hurt on his face, and for a wild second he was glad for it. But then the moment passed, and Ronan felt the sharp tang of guilt in his mouth, and he turned his head away. It wasn’t Gansey’s fault that Ronan wanted what he couldn’t have. Ronan refused to make his best friend feel guilty about his own fuckup. 

But he couldn’t just lay here either. 

“Ronan…” Gansey trailed off as Ronan slid off of the Pig, stuffing his hands in his pockets. Ronan intended to storm up the steps of Monmouth and slam his bedroom door shut, and he fully intended not to emerge for at least a day. 

“Ronan, stop, please,” Gansey pleaded as he jumped off of the hood as well.

“Don’t.” Ronan muttered, his back to Gansey. He had stopped, but from the tension in his shoulders, he wasn’t happy about it. “Just forget it, it was stupid.”

“No, Ronan, it wasn’t, it really wasn’t—” 

Ronan spun around, and Gansey took half a step back at the ferocity of his gaze. He had the sinking feeling that only a small portion of it was directed at him. “It’s fine, Gansey. You don’t have to try and make this better.”

“Just listen to me, please?”

Something in Gansey’s voice made Ronan pause, and he relaxed slightly. He no longer looked like he had been frozen in time, although he still looked reluctant to be standing out in the open. He hated that he would do whatever Gansey asked of him. He was incapable of refusing him, but Ronan didn’t want to hear his next words. Knowing Gansey wanted him gone and hearing Gansey tell him to get lost were two completely different things, and Ronan was unprepared to deal with the latter. 

Gansey shifted from one foot to another and cleared his throat. He wore a mask of confidence that might have fooled a stranger, but Ronan was no stranger. He knew Gansey well enough to see the uncertainty in the shape of his eyes and the slight hunch of his shoulders.

“Ronan, I’m sorry, but this just… it won’t work out. It can’t work out.”

Ronan felt his temporarily suppressed anger flare again. “Why not? Because we’re roommates? Because of our friends? Because you don’t like me?”

He was only a little ashamed of how his voice cracked on the last one.

Gansey looked aghast, his composure completely forgotten. “You really think I don’t like you?”

Ronan flung his hands out in a dramatic shrug. “I don’t know what to think anymore.”

The air between them crackled with a silent tension. Suddenly, the calming Henrietta quiet from earlier was too oppressive, and neither boy could stand it.

Gansey shook his head. “That’s not the problem,” he murmured, so low that Ronan had to strain to hear. 

“Then what is?” Ronan asked flatly. “You’re not going to hurt my feelings if you tell me to get lost.” Maybe Ronan was capable of lying after all. 

Gansey quickly looked up at him, and if Ronan didn’t know any better, he would say Gansey looked terrified.

“The problem isn’t you, Ronan. Far from it. The problem is me.”

Ronan snorted. “Are you giving me the ‘it’s not you, it’s me’ speech? Because usually you have to be dating first to break up with someone.”

He wasn’t sure what line he had crossed, but Ronan watched as Gansey shrunk before his eyes, curling in on himself. His heart clenched watching the transformation. It was so un-Ganseylike that it made Ronan feel sick.

Gansey bit his lip, hard enough that Ronan could see a dark, shiny bead of blood in the moonlight.

“I can’t give you what you want.”

Ronan blinked, not sure where Gansey was going with that. He waited for him to continue, his anger rapidly being replaced by a sense of unease. 

Gansey was staring down at the ground. His hair was disheveled from laying on the Pig, and in his glasses and pajamas that he hadn't bothered to change out of, Gansey looked like any other teenager, which only furthered the roiling uncertainty that Ronan was feeling.

“Gansey?” Ronan asked after the silence grew longer than he was prepared to handle.

He sucked in a deep breath. “I don’t… It’s been a long time since I’ve said the words. Out loud. But it’s  _ you  _ and this should be easy…”

Ronan had never heard Gansey leave this many sentences unfinished, and he took a cautious step forward. Gansey didn’t look up, but he did cross his arms in front of his chest. 

“Gansey, what’s wrong?”

Finally, hazel eyes were lifted to meet blue. Ronan saw the uncertainty there, and he saw those eyes harden the instant that Gansey made up his mind.

“I’m asexual. I don’t like sex and I never have and I never will. That’s why we can’t do this, because I’ll never be able to change that and I don’t want to change that. But you’ll say it’s fine and that it doesn’t matter, and then in a few days, or weeks, or months, you’ll just get bored and frustrated with me and I’d rather not go down that road if I can help it.”

Gansey said the words, but Ronan didn’t think they were Gansey’s words. He closed his eyes, trying to sift through everything he had just heard. He only hesitated a moment before opening them again, not wanting to give Gansey the wrong impression. 

“Bold of you to assume I like sex,” he said, making sure to keep his voice as light as possible.

Gansey blinked, looking owlish behind his glasses. “What?”

Ronan shrugged. “I’m somewhere on the spectrum too, I’ve never been much for labels. But sex is take it or leave it, I don’t really care either way.”

“Oh,” Gansey said uncertainly. 

Ronan took another step forward and stretched his hand out, stopping before he reached Gansey. The other boy nodded once, and Ronan let his hand rest on Gansey’s bicep. 

“And Gansey, I’ve been by your side for years now, do you really think I would get sick of you that easily? Over something that trivial?” That had been the core of Gansey’s confession that had stung Ronan—the assumption that Ronan would just toss Gansey aside at some point. 

Gansey looked away. “It wouldn’t be the first time it happened.”

Ronan clenched his teeth together in an attempt to hold back the anger that washed through him at how defeated Gansey looked in this moment. Slowly, he pulled Gansey towards him, giving him plenty of time to pull away. But he came willingly, and Ronan wrapped the shorter boy into a hug. 

“Fuck all of them, Gansey. They don’t matter, you’re infinitely better than any of them.”

Gansey didn’t reply, only pressing his face into Ronan’s shoulder. 

They stood that way for what seemed like hours, but it might have only been seconds. Ronan hadn’t bothered to keep track, and each moment felt like it stretched to infinity anyways. An infinity that Ronan never wanted to leave. 

It was Gansey who pulled away first, and Ronan let him, even as his heart stuttered at the loss. 

“Where does that leave us now?” He asked, and although he looked better than before, the uncertainty was still plain on his face. 

Ronan hummed. “Well, I like you, and you seem to like me. Am I wrong in that?”

Gansey shook his head, and Ronan continued. “I would very much like to be dating you, Gansey.”

He watched the smile spread across Gansey’s face. It was small, but genuine. Gansey had a smile that could light an entire room, but that one was fake, practiced. This one was real, and Ronan decided it was his favorite. 

“I would like that too,” Gansey said softly. 

Ronan grinned. “I would also very much like to kiss you.”

Gansey’s smile grew wider, and his eyes lit up. Ronan had been painfully wrong before—this was his favorite smile. “I would also like that too.”

Ronan pulled him closer and leaned down, pressing their lips together. It wasn’t perfect—Ronan’s lips were chapped and Gansey glasses were digging into his cheek—but Ronan knew he wouldn’t trade this for anything in the universe. Gansey tasted like mint and happiness and no matter what Gansey had been taught to think, there was absolutely no possibility that Ronan could grow tired of this.     

Eventually, they both pulled away for air, and Gansey tilted his head forwards to rest his forehead on Ronan’s shoulder again.

“It doesn’t change anything you know,” Ronan whispered. “I promise.” He knew Gansey would understand what he was referring to without having to say the words. 

He felt, rather than saw, Gansey’s tiny nod. “Gansey, do you trust me?”

There was a slight pause. “With my life.”

The warmth of pure bliss covered Ronan like a blanket, and he grinned again, pulling Gansey into another kiss. 

Around them, the sky was starting to get light, and the birds were starting to sing. The buzzing of the streetlamps was beginning to trail off as the sun rose across the horizon to relieve them of duty. Henrietta was beginning to wake up, and Ronan was convinced that nothing had ever been this perfect.

**Author's Note:**

> Title from Never Wanna Leave - Hate Drugs. I'm not going to lie there's a lot of self projection in here but as always, thank you for reading and any comments/kudos are greatly appreciated <3


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